It's one of my favourite Onion videos. I think it's hilarious - and it's especially topical for me right now with all the computer trouble I've been having recently.
The video is a parody of a news report and the title is: Sony Releases Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work.
Of course it's funny because of the language they use with a regular news format. And also because it pretty accuarately reflects the experiences that many of us have with electronic equipment, such as it being overpriced and havng impossible-to-open packaging and the help menu being, as they say, a labyrinthy maze of indecipherable topics of use to fucking no one.
I think swearing a lot and becoming frutstrated is pretty common when people are trying to use new electronic devices.
And because this video is full of swearing, it's an interesting one to study the different ways that swear words are used.
For example, you can add the word fucking to a sentence as an intensifier.
So they could say the device doesn’t do the goddamn thing it’s supposed to, but by adding fucking, it doesn’t do the goddamn thing it’s fucking supposed to, it gives the sentence extra strength.
And they could say: Sony is expecting it to become the next gizmo you absolutely have to own.
But they say:Sony is expecting it to become the next fucking gizmo you absolutely have to fucking own.
Another example, you could say: I spent all night doing my homework.
Or, to make your sentence more intense, you could say: I spent all fucking night doing my fucking homework.
Another way you can use fuckingis to add it to the middle of words.
For example: This coffee is de-fucking-licious.
Or:That movie was fan-fucking-tastic.
And in the video they're talking about getting a friend to figure out the device and they say: Unless one of them is a rocket scientist, Sony pretty much guaran-fucking-tees they’ll have no chance.
Finally, another thing you can do is add as fuckor as hell to the end of adjectives to mean very.
In the video they say that Sony's new product is backward as fuck and the functions are frustrating as hell.
Kim Is that word used in New Zealand? ニュージーランドでも使いますか？
Sarah No, I don't think so. いいえ、使わないと思います。
Kim So what do people in cities say about people in the country? では都会人は田舎に住む人をどう呼びますか？
Sarah Um, maybe country bumpkin, I can't think of any other words. たぶん country bumpkin ですかね、思い浮かびません。
Kim Is a country bumpkin the same thing as a hillbilly? country bumpkin は Hillbilly と似た表現ですか？
Sarah Yeah, I think so. Pretty much. はい、そうだと思います。 大体同じです。
サラのメモ： WARNING: Today's video contains swearing. Please note: I think studying swear words is interesting, but please be careful using them. They are inappropriate in any situations - and some people find swear words very offensive in any situation.
Sony Releases Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work
Tech-savvy consumers are lining up today to be the first to purchase Sony’s brand new stupid piece of shit that doesn’t do the goddamn thing it’s fucking supposed to. Onion News Network Tech Trends reporter Jeff Tate has more.
It’s being called the biggest fucking waste of your hard-earned money to come along in years. Sony’s new stupid box thing hit the shelves of crowded malls and overpriced electronic stores around the country today.
It’s got a whole bunch more… memory and megapixels, and whatnot than any of the other TV shit that I already have. I can’t wait to get home and spend my whole fucking night trying to figure the goddamn thing out.
If you can somehow claw and bite your way through the impossible-to-open packaging, this stupid piece of shit offers a wide variety of frustrating-as-hell functions, including flashing random fucking words and numbers on its display screen, not coming with the fucking little doohickey thing it’s supposed to, and being goddamned ass backward as fuck. Sony’s spokesman Alan Compton said the company designed this sucking, fucking, goddamn thing to make everyone in the modern home want to tear their fucking eyeballs out.
We listened hard to what our customers said they wanted the most out of their home entertainment system and then we pumped out this impossible-to-use fucking piece of shit.
Anyone mystified by the device’s numerous extraneous features can scroll through the interactive help menu, a labyrinthy maze of indecipherable topics of use to fucking no one.
We want people to be screaming in unison from houses across the country, “Work, work, you cock-sucking piece of shit! What is wrong with you? Why can’t you work like a normal machine?”
With a hundred million dollar nationwide campaign to plaster irritating ass advertisements for the retarded hunk of garbage every single goddamn place you look, Sony is expecting it to become the next fucking gizmo you absolutely have to fucking own if you don’t want to feel like a toothless hillbilly living in some hillbilly shack somewhere.
I love bullshit like this. You… I… basically I’ll buy any goddamn thing that I see in an ad.
The fucking piece of shit is available now, so run out and pick one up, and invite all of your friends over to see if any of them can figure out this motherfucking time vampire. Unless one of them is a rocket scientist, Sony pretty much guaran-fucking-tees they’ll have no chance. For the Onion News Network, I’m Jeff Tate.
Thanks, Jeff. Sony says they plan to release an upgraded 800 gigabyte version of this piece of shit by the end of the year… just when you’ve figured out the goddamn remote control for this one. It never ends… this shit.